Your wife might think twice if...


A woman is an intellectual when it comes to men. She does not want kids that will be dumb, and I say that with all the sensitivity that was lacking in Dick Chaney. Not the story about the guy Dick shot in the face, but other story about West Virginia. We don't need to go there.

There are times when your wife might begin to doubt herself. I've seen that look in Nancy's eye so I will pass on a few tips. (Not that I ever did any of these things of course.)

When you are mowing the grass and your wife sees too much of the bottom of the riding mower, including the blades, she will wonder about you.

If you really think you can run your car on water, and actually try it out, she will begin to wonder.

If you use a chainsaw on tree limbs directly above your face, you are stupid and she knows it.

If you blow the sewer pipe off of your trailer and forget to fix it your wife might test the IQ of your children

If you ever do a load of wash a forget to take the chewing tobacco and knives out of your clothes you should hope none of her clothes were in with yours.

If you can name every Jerry Lee Lewis song in three notes -- well, never mind.

If you ever used high pressure air to open your drains and your roof was covered with food your wife will wonder about you.

If you ever invited your friends over for a barbeque when you don't own a barbeque you might be an idiot.

If you weren't even home when your friends showed up for the barbeque it might be an indicator

If you take your wife to the baseball game and it takes 6 innings for you to buy two beers your wife will be "standoffish."

These are just examples in my redneck sensitivity training course. The true test if very simple. If you say "hold my beer and watch this" more than five times a week, and actually mean it, it is back to the drawing board for you Bubba.



visit Windsor Missouri, located on U.S. Highway 52 in western Missouri, only 90 minutes south of Kansas City and four hours from Saint. Louis.  Driving time to Branson from Windsor is approximately 2 hours